Normally, Fox News Eating its own frequently venomous words would cause a poison hazard and , thus, be a welcome thing. In this case however, we find the media closing ranks around the Evil Robot Overlords and their coming empire of wanton flesh rending and ruinous human slavery.

While Fox News had originally reported that DARPA's EATR Robot, designed by the whimsical, happy-go-lucky folks at Robotics Technology, Inc., would be happily feasting on dead bodies "in the field", a robust snow job has been deployed to give the impression that the previous notion that the infernal contraption would feed on the flesh of soldiers (presumably enemies, but hey, what's the diff', right?), and whomever else's sanctified corpse might be lying around, was wholly erroneous.

Well it's good that we've gotten that all cleared up then, isn't it?

Hmmmmm, riiiiiiiight...

To get the true, Orwellian, flavor of the pining innocence of this sweet and cuddly device (armed with it's own robotic chainsaw arm) though, one must really read gingerly between the lines of it's very own product brochure. We're certain that you too will find this harmless, pacifist-hippy, vegan-bot to be every bit as innocuous as it's manufacturer's claim.

INCIDENTALLY:

Evil Robot News would like to make it known that we have recently taken possession of a tasteful and historic bridge that leads from the island of Manhattan to the New York Borough of Brooklyn, which we would like to now offer for sale to interested bidders. Please reach us via the site's "Contact" link to be kept abreast of the forthcoming Ebay auction. That is all.

"A steam-powered, biomass-eating military robot being designed for the Pentagon is a vegetarian, its maker says.

Robotic Technology Inc.'s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot — that's right, "EATR" — "can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable," reads the company's Web site."

Oooooh! I want to hug him and squeeze him and pet him and feed him!

Full Story at Fox News

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