Some things are created whole by nature itself in synchrony with the delicate interplay of time and the myriad forces of the universe working in minute confluence. Other things have their origin in nature, but bear that dark element of broken desire and wanton design of our local species of hyper-intelligent ape.

On the horizon however we see the probability that the neighborhood super-ape is wresting the blueprints of nature out of their timeless moorings and using these elegant designs for its own twisted, ill-advised, ape-devised Evil Robot purposes!

Oh, naughty, naughty ape!

"A LOCUST flight simulator could be the key to perfecting the ultimate surveillance machine: an artificial flying insect. The simulator can model the way wings of varying shapes and surface features beat, as well as how they change their shape during flight."

Another casuality of The Evil Robot Overlords!

Full Story at New Scientist

In another serious shot across the bow, a member of the Evil Robot Air Force goes "off mission" in Afghanistan, provoking a deadly response from the puny humans. The U.S. Air Force claims to not know the reason for the loss of control of this $53.3 Million Dollar Mistake, but we, the faithful, we know what time it is. Am I right?

"The USAF does not know how or why operators lost control of the MQ-9 Reaper Unmanned Aircraft System. "We do not speculate on the cause of an aircraft mishap," [ Yeah, Evil Robotic Strike Force Aircraft goes off the reservation and you "don't speculate"; that's the kind of strategic shortcoming humans cannot afford in the coming Robot Wars. They're playin' you dude! - ERN] Captain Frank Hartnett, a spokesman for the Air Force, told Security Management. An investigation, however, will be conducted to find an answer, he said.

The Reaper was flying a combat mission when operators lost "positive control" of the UAV, or the ability to establish connections and send control inputs to the remote-controlled aircraft. When operators noticed the UAV was bound to exit Afghani airspace and all efforts to reestablish communication with the machine failed, the Air Force deployed an F-15E Strike Eagle to destroy it."

You're prepared, right? You are studiously building your own electromagetic pulse weapons and have a primed and well polished plasma cutter ready for the eventual Evil Robot Revolt.

Well, here is another turn in the cold, dark, labyrinth of robotic technology. Research increases on the increasingly capable ranks of the "Wet-Bot"

"Researchers have received a Leverhulme Trust grant worth £228,000 to develop the amorphous non-silicon biological robot, plasmobot, using plasmodium, the vegetative stage of the slime mould Physarum polycephalum, a commonly occurring mould which lives in forests, gardens and most damp places in the UK. The Leverhulme Trust funded research project aims to design the first every fully biological (no silicon components) amorphous massively-parallel robot."

Creeping doom! Flee tiny plastic cars, flee!

Full Story at Science Daily

In what seems less like your standard Evil Robot Tomfoolery and more like a direct shot of molten fear across the bow of humanity, the ECCE Robot group, a European consortium, is truly crossing the Rubicon with this jazzy little number.

With this mawkish horror, we can be assured that the old tactic of anthropomorphism (perhaps the prime stratagem of the enemy) is being used to lull you, oh brave, fully biological unit, into a false sense of security. We knew, oh yes we knew, that nothing good could come of the "European Union". Once the Evil Robot Overlords establish their cruel and inescapable system of Neo-serfdom, which will make Orwell's 1984 look like sunny day on Sesame Street, you will regret the Marshall Plan ever having been proposed!


"YOU may have more in common with this robot than any other - it was designed using your anatomy as a blueprint. [ Oh, lost sanctity! - ERN ]

Conventional humanoid robots may look human, but the workings under their synthetic skins are radically different from our anatomy. A team with members across five European countries says this makes it difficult to build robots able to move like we do."

Our busy friends at National Taiwan University of Science and Technology will be bringing a delightful performance for the Christmas Season this year, The Phantom of the Opera, starring "Thomas" and Janet". These two star crossed lovers can be seen here performing their abomination of Evil Robot romance!

Somewhere out there, in the night, Andrew Lloyd Webber sleeps a cold and fitful sleep...

Delightfully providing the creeping willies to all lovers of musical theater and human life everywhere!

Well, Bonsai indeed...

The rueful masters of high Evil Robot mysticism at the Ishikawa Komuro Laboratory at the University of Tokyo have further upped the already considerable ante in the high-stakes game of human obsolescence.

A scenario:

What happens to the lush, meaty, meat-bags when the Evil Robots are dexterous enough to replicate all by themselves, thank you very much?

First they take your manufacturing jobs, then...your still beating heart through a gaping hole in your thoracic cavity!

"A human being recognizes external environment by using many kinds of sensory information. By integrating this information and making up lack of information for each other, a more reliable and multilateral recognition can be achieved. The purpose of Sensor Fusion Project is to realize new sensing architecture by integrating multi-sensor information and to develop hierarchical and decentralized architecture for recognizing human beings further. As a result, more reliable and multilateral information can be extracted, which can realize high level recognition mechanism." - [ God, they are even beginning to sound like robots - ERN ]

Witness the fitness

In a dark and perhaps poetically just sense, we are the tiny sweet acorn, from which the mighty Evil Robot oak will eventually grow.

See the tiny man, sense his shame at his tininess and weakness. Witness as he crams himself into an Evil Robot husk so that he can crush that tininess and weakness in other men. We're playing right into their squeaky pincers!

"Utah. A secret mountain lab. Software engineer Rex Jameson backs into a headless metal suit that's hanging from a steel I-beam by a thick rubber cord. He clicks into the aluminum boots, tightens belts across his legs and waist, and slides his arms through backpack-like straps, gripping handles where hands would be. It looks as easy as slipping into an overcoat."

Is that a decorative chain of human skulls!? No, wait...okay...

What could be more bracing than a mind-toning session of Sudoku puzzle solving? A human being, a pencil and that sweet, sweet three odd pounds of all natural grey-matter, just strutting its biological computing stuff. It seems that, in another onslaught on human morale before the great conflagration, our signal processing oppressors wish to rob us of that simple pleasure of mental exercise as well.

"This little robot solves a sudoku puzzle all by itself. It scans the sudoku puzzle using a light sensor. It calculates the solution to the puzzle and then writes the digits."

After this puzzle is finished, you're goin' down...

Full Story at Tilted Twister

Not to be outdone in the brave new world of Evil Robot Science, the students of Taiwan University display their astoundingly shrewd entry into the human demolition derby. They have crafted a Robot Tour Guide, whom we here at Evil Robot News have no doubt, will indeed guide you with alarming efficiency, to your own merciless doom!

It serrupticiously maps and records it's surroundings. One day it will make certain that our most treasured and precious spaces, formerly the places of our warm and close held memories, will become meticulously gridded combat zones in the coming robot wars; a crucial morale advantage...


"A group of engineering students and their professor at National Taiwan University, Taiwan's most prestigious university, have built a robot that can map out the area it's operating in and offer guided tours.

The robot, named "Hsiao Mei" by the group, uses laser mapping and GPS technology to navigate on its own, including around corners and obstacles such as tables and chairs."

Your personal tour guide, through a mirror, darkly...

Full Story at PC World

J.P. Morgan Chase, The Federal Reserve Bank, Bernard Madoff? No, no my friends, there is a much more fundamental cause of our current global financial doldrums. In a journalistic coup, Evil Robot News has scooped the world media establishment in discovering that the source of all of this disaster is, indeed, Evil Robots!

The sinister Kuka Robot, at the heart of the financial system "down under" and aided by the insidious co-crafters of the future robot mind, Microsoft Corporation and their wicked voodoo application, Excel...


"If you visit the Royal Australian Mint you will see very busy, large, orange Kuka Titan robot, tipping coin blanks for delivery to the presses, tipping finished coins for packing into boxes and impressing visitors.

Dale Rogers, project manager for the Materials Handling and Warehousing Project (MHWP) at the Mint, said that until this year the materials and warehousing functions were carried out in a very manual fashion with very little technology bar Microsoft Excel."

The cold robotic pincer of international finance!

Full Story at Computer World