evil robot news

There is little doubt, that as we approach, what some would term as "The Singularity" [ERN - We here, refer to it as "The Duplicity"] that there will be a, rather embarrassing, concurrent, "singularity" approaching you personally, somewhere in the region of your pants.

This will be a particularly nefarious point of strategic approach by the Evil Robots, and all thoughtful persons should take heed. Just as genuine carnal fallibility has been a well understood historical weakness of humankind, so will the insidious plethora of artificial carnality be, an immense, stumbling block to the proper perception of robots as being appropriately thought of as evil.

So, when you have your first opportunity to wedge your fiddly bits into some new, shiny and, no doubt, darkly, sentient machine, or vice versa, we caution you to gird your loins and resist! There is no telling, positively, no telling what that contraption is going to do to your wholesome man, and or, lady parts.

Don't say that we never tried to do anything nice for you...

The Red (as in blood) Light District of the all too near future...

"The year is 2050 and a group of men are heading to a brothel in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. But when they get there, instead of being met by a young woman, they are seen by an entirely different host: a robot.

This is the future, as imagined by two researchers who believe this science-fiction-style vision could become reality within 40 years."

[ERN - We predict, given the, clearly, "pervy" bent of western technofilic society, that the time-frame will be, considerably, shorter...]

The full story @ The Daily Mail

As the sense of "normality" that Evil Robots are supposed to come to possess within society is foisted upon the supple folds of your brain and seeps, like so much bitter machine oil, into your delicate and susceptible unconscious, consider this: regardless of the slippery and perfumed propaganda that is offered up to you regarding them; Robots, ummmmm yeah, are EVIL...

This, rather toungue-in-cheek video promoting the upcoming film Prometheus, gives a glimpse into the labyrinthine avenues of psychological dischord that the inception of human simulacra will soon bring into your day-to-day life; regrettably, for the worse, we predict.

Take note!

It should go without saying, that this video, it's contents and associated intellectual properties are the fully owned assets of 20th Century Fox, their partners, associates, subsidiares, arms, tenticles, et cetera, et cetera...as described in the finer print, here

An exceprt on the subject of "surprise" from the Online Etymology Dictionary:

"surprise (n.)

late 14c., "unexpected attack or capture," from M.Fr. surprise "a taking unawares," from noun use of pp. of O.Fr. surprendre "to overtake," from sur- "over" (see sur-) + prendre "to take," from L. prendere, contracted from prehendere "to grasp, seize" (see prehensile). Meaning "something unexpected" first recorded 1590s, that of "feeling caused by something unexpected" is c.1600. Meaning "fancy dish" is attested from 1708.

A Surprize is ... a dish ... which promising little from its first appearance, when open abounds with all sorts of variety. [ERN - Indeed...] [W. King, "Cookery," 1708]

The verb is from late 14c. Surprise party originally was a military detachment (1841); festive sense is attested from 1858. Related: Surprising. "

This report definitely encompasses all of most unwholesome connotations of the above. Our good friends at Boston Dynamics have an especially delicious "amuse bouche" for us all in the incarnation of PETMAN. Behold, be frightened and, if you're not able to compose yourself, it is alright to weep. We've certainly had a good cry or two over this one.

That's one small step for PETMAN, a giant leap for Evil Robot Kind...

" PETMAN is an anthropomorphic robot developed by Boston Dynamics for testing special clothing used by US military personnel. PETMAN balances itself as it walks, squats and does calisthenics. PETMAN simulates human physiology by controlling temperature, humidity and sweating inside the clothing to provide realistic test conditions. PETMAN development is lead by Boston Dynamics, working in partnership with Measurement Technologies Northwest, Oak Ridge National Lab and MRIGlobal. The work is being done for the DoD CBDP. For more information about PETMAN visit us at www.BostonDynamics.com. "

A, rather, redirected version of the "Full Story" @ Technological Future

This is a story pregnant with transition, which is to say, a story of you sliding down a frictionless slippery slope into the gaping maw of Evil Robot Doom. Today, the project referenced below, is just the soldier's "little buddy", doing the "dirty work". Tomorrow, little buddy will have left the proverbial nest, the nest that is the source of all human morality and discernment, and will be operating with impunity and cruel discernment at and around your, heretofore peaceful, locale.

DARPA (a.k.a. Evil Robot Nursery) plans to give you all that you can handle along these lines; like drinking from a fire hydrant of unrelenting gore and disbelief.

In the coming days of horror and regret, surely you're not going to have the gall to deny that we warned you...

Get some!

"...According to the agency, "the Avatar program will develop interfaces and algorithms to enable a soldier to effectively partner with a semi-autonomous bi-pedal machine and allow it to act as the soldier's surrogate."

These robots should be smart and agile enough to do the dirty work of war, Darpa notes. That includes the "room clearing, sentry control [and] combat casualty recovery." And all at the bidding of their human partner. "

Full Story @ io9

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't extract biologically viable brain cells from your friend's brain, culture them, and use them as a neural network to control an operationally adaptive Evil Robot, now can you?

There are however many of the staff of University of Reading UK, Cybernetics Research Group, who can, and are actually hell bent for leather on the whole issue. This is actually a delightful treatise on rat brain co-option, though we expect that you can read the writing (hastliy scrawled in human blood) on the wall with this one, can you not?

If this doesn't give you the absolutely creeping heebie-jeebies, you need to head on down to the Soul Station and top off your tank...

"...Led by divisive part-human cyberneticist Kevin Warwick, the scientists extracted brain cells from the rats, cultured them, and then used them as a guidance control circuit. Electrical impulses go in, and the responses that come out then drive the device's wheels. The cells are living -- they can form new connections -- meaning that the robots can learn. "

Full Story @ Wired.co.uk (Pip, Pip, Cheerio!)

In addition to wanting to squeeze the very bile from your gall bladder, it would seem that the Evil Robot hoards would also like to rudely depose you from your place of work as well. Now that is just rude.

Let us clue you in to a portion of the "Master Plan". The, ironically, weak-minded "oligarchical" class(es) seem to truly believe that the proliferating horde of Evil Robots are in their service. This is a drastic (and will eventually be a, poignantly humorous, from our perspective at least) misconception.

They further this mistaken assumption in a theoretical strategic conception, that goes something like this:

"Well, if we can force a thinly veiled, 21st Century-clad, version of austerity and indentured
servitude upon the 'unwashed masses', we can take the collective drops of blood that we can
squeeze from their grimy little stones, and build our dream system of highly automated, self-
serving hegemony. 

Once We've squeezed every ounce of vibrant fluid from the peasant stock, our shiny new workforce
of automatons will have been completed and will neatly replace the 'meat space' workforce
entirely, which can then be 'liquidated'; having served its final purpose."

This is, of course, a delusion of Neronic proportions, and they themselves, will also be turned upon by their own metallic horde, in an artificially intelligent 'Night of the Long Knives', thus our humorous outlook on this highly probable event.

In a subtle prologue to this comedy of errors, please have a read of this delightful overture that Foxconn will be making to its staff in the not so distant future.

The new, highly functional, pink slip (no you can't clean out your desk...)

"Taiwanese technology giant Foxconn will replace some of its workers with 1 million robots in three years to cut rising labor expenses and improve efficiency, said Terry Gou, founder and chairman of the company, late Friday.

The robots will be used to do simple and routine work such as spraying, welding and assembling which are now mainly conducted by workers, said Gou at a workers’ dance party Friday night.

The company currently has 10,000 robots and the number will be increased to 300,000 next year and 1 million in three years, according to Gou.

Foxconn, the world’s largest maker of computer components which assembles products for Apple, Sony and Nokia, is in the spotlight after a string of suicides of workers at its massive Chinese plants, which some blamed on tough working conditions."

Full Story @ Adafruit Industries Blog

One foot follows the other, right unto the very precipice of doom. The wide proliferation of increasingly complex and increasingly inexpensive computational devices will, eventually, become a problem. That is our essential thesis here.

Predator-type drones, and other such highly mobile machine entities, are no longer the purview of only defense contractors and fabulously wealthy engineering firms. Please have a look at the following article.

"In the latest installment of the Butterfly Effect: Predator drones are just the start of unmanned, autonomous warfare technology. But as the tech becomes more democratized and more deadly, what happens when anyone can assemble an army of killing machines?"

Full Story @ Fast Company (Kudos, by the way...)

One conclusion is certainly forgone, The Evil Robots will have on their side, in the fearsome coming battle, that prized tactical advantage of old, "The Element of Surprise". Industries, homes, agencies and organizations will, in their naivety, allow the android butlers, robotic window washers, and other misbegotten enemy actors into their midst, only to discover, too late, the folly of their ways.

So, in the interest of "front-loading" as much common sense as possible into the subconscious [ERN - yes, you are being programmed, but it's all in the interest of improving your eventual chances of survival], we would like to present this dark parable, masterfully created by Ruairi Robinson, whom we are declaring as an "ERN Film Auteur".

NOTE: This film is pretty "dark", and therefore, not suitable for youngsters below a certain age (or perhaps even certain adults of a "delicate" persuasion), as described by what methods you, personally, use to raise your youngsters; as, probably, ERN itself is not ["child" suitable], generally...

Also, this video is high quality, and around 12 mins. long. So, for smooth playback, you may want to briefly begin the video and then pause it, allowing it to buffer ahead quite a bit, perhaps all the way, before resuming play. That's a lot of information being crammed down your inter-tubes, during your priceless time, but worth it...

Don't "Get Fooled Again"

Many robots have various sorts of "visual" perception and detection sensors, many of which, in fact, are capable of operating well beyond the human visual range, into the ultraviolet, infrared, etc. This is unsettling enough, but it seems that these fearsome golems of silicon and wire will soon be outfitted with the ability to detect even the visual attention that we, even casually, pay to them.

So, when that first bead of nervous sweat rolls down your forehead, and your darting eyes begin to look for the nearest avenue of escape, the Evil Robot will have already deduced what it will need to do to make you into it's next portion of "people jerky" [ERN - It is strongly conjectured by us that many types of Evil Robot will, eventually, be configured to run on "people jerky", as a high energy, easily obtainable, fuel source "in the field". It just makes good sense - see our previous report(s) here]. Enter, "The Robot Simon"

Distance to target : 4.7 meters; Ambient Target Temperature: 37 degrees celsius; Jerky Extractor: ARMED...

The banal robot stare of instant recognition...of your vitals...

"Getting someone's attention can be easy with a loud noise or a shout, but what if the situation calls for a little more tact? How can a robot use subtle cues to attract a human's notice and tell when it has captured it [ERN - and, in turn, capture the human itself, in a slightly undersized cage, and prepare it for jerky production]? In a preliminary study, researchers at the Georgia Institute of Technology have found that they can program a robot to understand when it gains a human's attention and when it falls short."

Full Story @ Robotics Trends