Robots are becoming increasingly evil and thus, news...
For decades our best science-fiction writers, government whistle blowers, leading technologists and fear mongering crackpots alike, have been warning us of the imminent arrival of our "Evil Robot Overlords". That is to say, the arrival, "on the ground", near you, of autonomous and, largely, unfriendly artificially intelligent machines of various flavors and descriptions.
This site has been created to help you, the citizen, stay abreast of the ins, outs and general reports of horror that will no doubt be forthcoming in our unavoidable and, probably, monstrously bloody, clash with our own misbegotten robot progeny.
So, please make all due use of this resource as we attempt to guide you through the coming post-apocalyptic, dystopic whirlwind that is Evil Robot News.
Note: the "Read More" link is your friend.
Cheers!
The Management, Evil Robot News dot com
"Nano-Spiders", Doesn't That Just About Say It All?
In our, what should by now be blatantly, obvious concern for large, bloodthirsty, "macroscopic" Evil Robots, let us not leave our rear guards down and ignore the inherent threat of the very, very, small.
Increasing research in nanotechnology makes it plain that, not only will you be ravaged by the new-fangled creations of the dark priests and priestesses of the Evil Robot Overlords, but that you may not even notice, that is until they handily liquefy your internal organs...
The eensy weensy spider climbed up your gastric tract...
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"Scientists have created microscopic robots out of DNA molecules that can walk, turn and even create tiny products of their own on a nano-scale assembly line.
The ground-breaking devices outlined in the journal Nature, could one day lead to armies of surgeon robots that could clean human arteries or build computer components. [Or, as aforementioned, quickly turn you into a bloody smattering of goo... -ERN]
In one of the projects a team from New York's Columbia University created a spider bot just four nanometers across. This is about 100,000 times smaller than the diameter of a human hair."
It Thinks, Therefore It Is...
We bring you, through much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth, another eerie foreshadowing of what we might all call, "our doom". In the, no doubt underground, Evil Robot research facilities of Japan and Michigan Technological University a new dark awareness is beginning to take shape.
One step closer toward the intrinsic awareness of Evil Robots. It is one thing to be tracked, hunted, and eviscerated by an automaton at your company picnic, or Bat Mitzvah, but consider the folly of giving these creatures thought with which to harrow you down. In no time at all it'll be an [Evil] "Bot" Mitzvah. Stand ready humankind, stand ready!
Looking: Longingly at your Jugular
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"Researchers from Japan and the Michigan Technological University have succeeded in building a molecular computer that, more than any previous project of its kind, can replicate the inner mechanisms of the human brain, repairing itself and mimicking the massive parallelism that allows our brains to process information like no silicon-based computer can."
Full Story @ Gizmag
German Researchers Display Heroic Levels Of Foolishness, Manage To Survive...This Encounter At Least...
Now...there are so many cautions, admonitions, and tails of potential regret rolled into this brief, but terrifying, report, we wouldn't even know where to begin; beyond this ultra naive belief in the neutrality of Evil Robots.
Really? I mean, Really!?
If this is the kind of attitude we're approaching this with, the conclusion is pretty much forgone, we can assure you. Can we not see the Evil Robot writing on the wall?
"Their" proposed outcomes:
"Our" proposed outcomes:
You be the judge...
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"The idea of a robot in the kitchen cooking us meals sounds great ( Does it now? - Fools! ) . We better just watch out for that swinging knife ( Ya think!? ).
Evil Robots Soon To Have Ability To Savor "Silky Mouth-Feel" of Human Flesh
Here at ERN we frequently have the opportunity to preview "The Fall" from all sorts of horrifying perspectives. The ironic terrors of the dark mimicry of ourselves, sourly reflected in the form of infernal machines. This, though, has got to be considered a "cake-taker".
What would it benefit an Evil Robot to gain the whole world, without being able to frighten the buh-jeezus out of everyone with a victory speech from its creepy rubber lip units?
You better recognize...
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Monstrous, Mountain Climbing, Sport Coupe, Seeks A World Without Squishy Humans
Riddle me this, weak biological unit, if this jazzy little number can find the summit of Pike's Peak, what is preventing it from finding, say, the nursery of your quiet little suburban home? The question is, of course, rhetorical. To arms!
How fast can you run the fifty?
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"Forget the Darpa’s urban challenge. This fully automated Audi TTS — equipped with GPS, sensors and guidance systems — is set to race on the Pikes Peak International Hill Climb, a crazy 20km rally race circuit with 156 turns."
"Imagine our future", indeed...
Full Story @ Gizmodo
In Former Soviet Union, Robot Power Loader Drives You!
Eerie is as eerie does, I suppose, as aptly demonstrated by our "friends" at Activelink. As you can see, the development of skull crushing pincers is coming along, at pace. So, if mankind thought, "But how will the Evil Robot Army manage to pop my noggin' like an overripe grape?", our grisly answer is forthcoming...
I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle here are my deadly crushing pincers!
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While Cyberdyne plans to outfit our military personnel in exosuits straight out of Iron Man, Activelink draws its exosuit inspiration from Aliens, creating an actual Power Loader that's nearly ready for Ripley.
Parents, If This Evil Robot Dog Follows Your Little Ones Home Please Tell Them, "No, you can't keep it."
An army, even an Evil Robot Army, eventually, gets tired of carrying around all of the ammunition, fuel cells, grievous bio-weapons, razor-shackles, portable abattoirs, etc. that they will need to accomplish their appointed tasks, in this case, the obliteration of all extant human life.
To that end, Evil Robot emissaries, Boston Dynamics, in conjunction with the delightfully maniacal High Priests of Evil Robot Mammon at DARPA have proceeded to fill this gory niche in the Evil Robot chain of command. If conquering humankind sheerly by giving it the creeps could be worthy of some sort of award, these guys would, clearly, be the front-runners in any such contest.
Awwww, ain't that cute?
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At What Point Will You Become A "Troublemaker" ?
In a day and age when bros are getting tazed with increasing frequency we have to carefully consider what "states of mind" various levels of law enforcement are operating from.
An obvious extension of these lines of thinking, is a strong consideration on, given the freedom with which tazers are employed, what sort mindset will be behind the deployment of more advanced Evil Robot "Tools of Enforcement", hereafter referred to, simply, as "T.O.E.".
We here an ERN understand that the Indiscriminate use of Evil Robots is well within the realm of possibility. So, be certain citizen, that when you employ simple expressions of your, say, 1st Amendment, or other "troublesome" rights, that you are not crossing the increasingly thin line between "Average Joe/Jane" and "Troublemaker", because you may become one of the first, but certainly not the last, to be properly disciplined by the Evil Robot Overlords!
Swat Bot vs. "Troublemaker". Can you run 50MPH? Swat Bot can. Hope you like pepper spray...
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SWAT BOT has trouble-makers in its sights
First They Came For The People Of Kent...
BAE Systems; carefully leveraging their extensive institutional knowledge and vast industry experience, to cleverly peer down your blouse, get "exclusive" pictures of your honeymoon and capture various and sundry other intimate and formerly personal events in your life.
A renowned arms manufacturer populating the sky with autonomous intelligence gathering apparati; hmmmm, what could that possibly suggest for our collective futures?
HINT: It may involve the interplay of Evil Robots
 The Engorged Node Of Robotic Tyranny...
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The arms manufacturer BAE Systems, which produces a range of unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs) for war zones, is adapting the military-style planes for a consortium of government agencies led by Kent police."
"BAE drones are programmed to take off and land on their own, stay airborne for up to 15 hours and reach heights of 20,000ft, making them invisible from the ground.
Write your own amount to give, we suggest $10
